Do you know how you feel? A silly question, perhaps, but we need to ask you anyway. Many of us block out our feelings, at least part of the time. Emotional intelligence requires us to have access to our emotions, if not all the time then certainly at critical moments.
Take the short quiz to help you start thinking about your own level of emotional awareness.
The more YY’s and Y’s you circled, the greater your emotional awareness might be. Becoming more aware of emotionality in yourself will help you identify the emotions of other people. Beyond just saying that you need to be aware of various emotional clues, it also helps if you actively begin to process emotional information.
For those of you who found that you are not very aware of your emotions, moods, and feelings, a mood journal is a useful tool for raising personal emotional awareness. You can use any format that makes sense to you, but we recommend that you use some form of a rating scale several times a day, for several emotion terms.
Here is an example of a mood scale that you might find of value in keeping a mood journal. This mood scale is organized around positive and negative affect, a convenient way of thinking about moods. Ask yourself this set of questions several times each day (for example in the morning, afternoon, and evening). Rate each feeling listed as quickly as you can.
Your mood journal, using the scales shown, can be expanded into an emotional diary. This requires a bit more work, but it is a good way to become more in touch with your emotional experiences. It is helpful to list your emotions at some points in your day, along with the events that occurred just prior to listing them. This emotional diary can help you see patterns in your emotional life, how external events influence you, what bothers you, what sets you off, and what brings you pleasure.
Here’s a suggested format for an emotional diary:
Emotional Diary Entry
Date:
Time:
Place:
People involved:
Event:
Events preceding emotion:
Emotions felt:
Don’t try to analyze the event in this part of the diary. Just keep a list. Then feel free to write about the event—how it made you feel and how you responded. There has been a good deal of research on moods and biological rhythms or cycles. For instance, some people say they are “morning people”; others label themselves “night owls.” There may be something to these labels, as we all tend to cycle up and down during the day.
Once you’ve collected enough emotional data, go back through the diary and try to determine whether you, too, have natural mood cycles. For some people, food has a major impact on their emotions. The “sugar high” we hear about is a real phenomenon for many of us. A big meal may make us drowsy or bring our mood down. Lack of sleep influences emotions as well. Perhaps you will find that those unproductive afternoon meetings are not due to the meetings themselves, but to how you feel!